Change starts with you, This how simple empowering can be.
“A lot of young people want to do something. They want to
grow their local church. They want to change their community.”
One of
our Alongsiders coordinators (Big Brother/Sister Program) reported to us that
when he shares the Alongsider’s vision with local pastors, many of them say,
"Where did you get this idea? It's such a great idea to mentor young
people this way and change the community. Can you come back next
week?"
Of
course, not every pastor responds this way, and not all young Christians fit
his description. But again and again, we are seeing people of all ages with the
feeling that something needs to change. And they see in Alongsiders a way to
make change happen.
When
this coordinator, Phearom, shares the same vision with a group of young people,
he always starts with a story. Then he says; "Change starts with
you."
Recently, a new Alongsider big brother named Nisai said,
"I felt at first like only smart people, older people, or leaders could be
an Alongsiders big brother, not just any member of the church. Then I heard
that I could do it, too! I chose my little brother because I felt he wasn't
feeling secure or loved in his family. His father drinks every day and hits
him. I want to protect him. I also want to help him with his schoolwork and
keep him from gambling or drinking.
The danger facing any movement is
the temptation to turn it into a performance-based program that leaders try to
manage and control. This is what happens whenever we doubt that the Spirit can
(or will) lead people to act in love.
Recognizing this danger, we
emphasize and remind ourselves that the role of leaders in the Alongsiders
movement is to inspire and empower, not to manage and control others.
That doesn't mean we can't be
intentional or organized. A great example of a brilliantly organized movement
that avoids managing or controlling its members is Alcoholics Anonymous.
The structure and requirements of Alcoholics Anonymous are so simple that
anyone can understand them and carry them out. Even so, they ask MUCH of their
members, and their members give it gladly. They don't need or care about
rewards and obligations because their lives are being transformed!
That's
what we want to see. We share the vision so that when it takes hold, groups of
Alongsiders will be led by the Spirit to serve and love their neighbors, starting
with the most vulnerable ones. Paul understood the importance of keeping the
movement of Christ simple. He wrote to the Galatians, "For the whole law
is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Gal.
5:14).” Nisai, the Alongsider quoted above, felt insecure in his faith and role
in God's Kingdom. But now he and the other Alongsiders in his group are sending
out a ripple effect through their village. They're inspired and empowered.
They've decided what they want to do what they're doing, loving their neighbors
as themselves, and this is not an add-on to the gospel. It's the core work of
walking in the Spirit and being the church together. By Andy Gray
A Single Tree Cannot Make a Forest
“And he shall be like a tree planted by the
streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaves also
do not wither; And whatsoever he does, shall prosper.”
That is true! A forest cannot have only one tree.
No one can say, “I visited a forest and just see one tree.” The Bible mentions
a tree planted by the streams of water, not a forest planted by the streams of
water. Therefore, we can see the importance of even a lone tree. Before people
even existed on the planet of earth there were trees. Trees are very important
for man from birth to death.
Everybody acknowledges that truth. So why are
many trees destroyed severely every day for with no thought for the future
generations? On May 6th, my team went to visit Prey Lang to meet
with the forest guardians of Kbal Klar Commune in Sandan district, Kampong Thom
to hear their stories in person, and to observe their work. After a long ride
on the home-made trailers pulled by large rototillers through the hot, humid
jungle, along the crooked trails and deep rutted cart paths, we made it to base
camp. I was about to climb into my hammock, which I just finished tying to a
couple of trees when Vysal said, “We have a meeting with the group of
guardians.” “Wait!” Chomno said, “I want someone to go into the forest with me
to the forest while I take care of some business.” Chomno said, “Vysal, don’t
stray too far, and don’t worry, I will bury my business properly. Vysal said to
Chumno, “Here, take my flashlight, and off they went.
As they were making
their way back, I was sitting on a piece of wood in the circle of the meeting I
heard the wailing of a two-stroke engine in the distance. I said, “It sounds
like a chain saw.” Every body paid attention to what I said. One of the
guardians said it was a chain saw and someone must be someone felling trees in
the dark of the night.” Many Cambodians today are serious about wanting to
protect forests from illegal logging so our children and grandchildren can see
the grandeur of our heritage. If we
don’t do something now, there will not be stick left standing in the whole
country for generations to come.” The leader of the group said, “We can go see
what is happening after the meeting.” Another man, named Sopheap said, “It is
not safe in the pitch black and the culprits can ambush us.” “We have to
confront them with one voice, and we need more people so we will check in the
morning.
The culprits knew that
during that night there was to be a wedding in the nearby village so there
would be drinking and dancing all night so few would be available to guard the
forest, therefore a rogue villager took the opportunity to sneak into the
forest and cut down a valuable tropical hardwood type tree. DOVE plans to bring
some students from Onyx program in all our locations, DOVE’s Men Group, and
from the Center of Peace to join with Peace Bridges Organization to plant trees
on July 9th 2016, in Prey Lang. Today’s trip was just to spy out the
land in preparation for bringing our young adults. Trees are lost every day,
and if we aren’t involved in reforestation, one day Cambodia will become a
concrete jungle or a parking lot for Thailand and Vietnam. The world will
suffer with drought, storms, floods and famine everywhere. Please pray for us
to save the world from the Global Warming.
International Children’s Day
“The World Conference for the Well-being
of Children in Geneva, Switzerland, proclaimed June 1st to be International
Children's Day in 1925. It is usually marked with speeches on children's rights
and well-being, and other events involving or dedicated to children.”
On one occasion some of
Jesus’ disciples wanted to prevent local children from meeting with Jesus but
he told them to allow children to come to Him. Children are very important, and
it will serve us well to pay close attention to their care. The history of
humankind shows that many children had been frequently molested, trafficked,
abused and/or exploited in one way or another since the beginning of time.
Therefore, the UN decided to set up a charter and proclaim internationally that
child protection should be an international priority.
I hear some people say;
“Cambodia now is in the stage of an economic boom.” Unfortunately, Cambodian
construction companies use Chinese or Vietnamese workers because the labor is
so cheap. Because of that, there are a lot of cases of migration for labor
outside the country. When parents leave to Thailand for construction jobs,
children are left behind. If they can get construction jobs inside Cambodia,
they are usually far from home. June 1st was International Children’s Day. DOVE
has two programs that focus on the protection and growth of children. We
conduct the Children’s Day every year, and we care for children who have been
left behind.
DOVE believes what we
do now in the lives of children will be a great investment in the future of
this country. We have to snatch them away from bad company and drug dealers. We
can make a better society by influencing young lives in order that they might
become good leaders, both now and in the future, if we invest our time with
children now.
Here are some photos of
what we are doing:
Testimonies from
YES-IC Students
Hello
everyone, I’m Sina. I am 25 years old and from Phnom Penh. I am a staff in a
company in this city. I’m a part time
English student here too. I came here to join Women’s Rights Day celebration.
It was a special program for me in that YESIC chose to celebrate Women’s Rights
Day because historically most men feel entitled to make any demand from a woman
and expect them to fulfill it. If it isn’t fulfilled, women suffer. This has
been a big problem for the women. But nowadays, it is getting better than
before but still in some places and in other countries they still keep holding
on to such entitlements. So the celebration today is really to challenge young
men on such entitlements, and help the women to have the equal rights as the
men. I really I appreciate that.
Family, Dating and Courtship seminar
One
evening while I was going to pick up my daughter from her school, the
University of Economy and Finance, and I glanced to my watch and saw there was
still a bit of time before she got out, so to kill the time I went to a barber
shop nearby to shampoo my hair. In the shop there was a man in his mid-sixties
getting his hair dyed. “Do you have a family, he asked the female stylist who
worked in the barbershop. In Khmer culture sometimes people ask staff about
their husbands or wives, and what they do for work. “Family,” she said. “Yes, I
used to have a family, but I divorced my husband.” The conversation went on and
on, and I found out that young lady was 24 years old. I knew that this young
lady built her family on the foundation of the concept of arranged marriages.
Arranged marriages are still popular in the Khmer culture, especially in the
provinces or the countryside. In the city, most people are exposed western
cultural values and customs through globalization via various forms of media,
so it seems that the younger generation prefers the practice of choosing their
own partner for marriage.
Family
is the cell of the society. If the cells have some problems, the whole society
will also suffer. Before we talk about the happiness in a family, we should
trace the Khmer word ‘family’ to the root word which means, “Father and Mother
I Love You.” Before you start a family, one has to decide to get married first.
Before marriage one has to choose a partner. Before choosing a partner, one has
to be in some kind of community. What criterion does one use in choosing
someone to be your life long partner?
Based on what? Love, lust, social, status (Hindu cast system), or
economics? If we have wrong expectations or criteria, one will never be able to
build a good and happy family at all, believe it or not. I tell you that love
is a very important component for building a solid family unit.
During
the civil war, which lasted for more than two decades, Cambodia went through so
many challenges and frustrations. The present society is the aftermath of the
Khmer Rouge era. During Khmer Rouge time, Cambodian couples were forced to get
married in a common thatch cafeteria. They got married because of fear, not
because of love. Most of the parents of young people in the present society had
gone through forced marriages.
“If I lived separately from my mother-in-law, I would not have
divorced him at all,” she continued. She let out a long sigh of despair before
she continued to share her personal story. It was so weird for me to hear a
young lady stylist share her personal story to a customer in her shop like that.
She must have really needed to vent, and could probably have benefited from
some counseling - meaning that she wanted to share her grief with someone.
In
Khmer culture the groom has to come to live at the bride’s house, and he has to
put down a dowry for the bride’s parents. It implies that they have to buy a
wife. But in the Bible, God brought Eve to Adam as a gift. Adam did not pay
anything, and his wife was a free gift from God.
The
best gift that each parent can give to their children when they get married is
independence from the cultural obligations of children to the parents. The best
gift to them would be not interfering too much to their personal family
business. Older Khmer people still want to live in an extended family
situation, not so much in a nuclear family. When a son or daughter gets
married, their priority is to their own family - parents have no business
interfering in their decisions and choices. “Therefore, a man shall leave his
mother and father and cleave with his wife they, and become one flesh.” The husband has to cut any links of unhealthy
parental influences from both sets of parents and give full attention to the
needs and health of the newlywed couple.
As
you know, the family is the cell of the society. In Khmer Rouge time, they
tried to destroy the family component. I remembered some phrase of Confucius.
If
there be righteousness in the heart, There will be beauty in the character.
If
there be beauty in the character, There will be harmony in the home.
If
there be harmony in the home, There will be order in the nation.
If
there be order in the nation, There will be peace in the world.
(Confucius)
After
Creation God built the human race through a family. What is the family? Family started from Adam and Eve. God brought
Eve to Adam. That means Adam did not hunt down or choose a wife. He received a
wife as gift from God. But in the Khmer culture, the phrase ‘take a wife’ or
‘look for a wife’ can determine what happens in the future for the couple. Adam
did not look for a wife. God knew he lived alone, and it was not easy, so He
gave him a woman as his wife. If Adam looked for a wife on his own according to
some faulty criteria, and she did not work out the way he liked, he might toss
her out and look for another one. Believe it or not, in Khmer culture, because
man has to pay for his wife, he has the right to throw her away if she does not
perform or do the job he paid for. A man will look for another one at a price
he can afford. When one buys a phone
they like, it isn’t long before a better model comes out and they toss the old
one away and buy a new one. But a wife is not like buying a useful item - it is
something you are given as a gift.
Leadership Club
On Saturday February 2016, DOVE’s Leadership
Club started a new year again. This is the third club for the Drop in Centre
teens. Our first club finished with 18 students and the second club had 27
students completing the program. The club activities consisted of interactive
teaching, advising, field trips, and student’s sharing. The whole year was a
great experience for them. The students bonded and matured well over that year.
Now we are starting another one with 24 students who will meet every Saturday
evening from 5:30 to 6:30 pm. The duration of the first two clubs was for six
months (1.5 hours per club session) but now we have decided to make it a yearlong
program at a hour/week as their parents want them to get home safely before
dark.
On
1st June 2016, our Leadership Club went on 2 day field trip to #Kbal
Tirk (Kampong Cham province). This trip was the launch and opening for Dove’s 3rd Leadership Club and to celebrate International
Children’s Day at the same time, too. There were twenty-four students joined
the trip.
First Day of the Retreat
We arrived around
10:30am and then we took a break while waiting for lunch. After having lunch it
was at 2:00 pm we divided all the students into 3 teams.
After the game they had 20 minutes for a break, then
played in the small lake and enjoyed the nature around them for two hours.
They were very cheerful and exited with through
experiencing nature and all its beauty. They swam and played there happily. Some
of them played baseball, others played buoy throw in the water and others they
played their own games in their own ways. They loved taking panoramic pictures
of the lake and the camping area.
Then they took a short rest before learning a lesson about “Int’l Children’s day”
because the trip fell on the same the day. We took the opportunity to spend
time learning about children’s rights. Virak led the activity. He prepared
questions for small group discussions and the teens reported their answers to
the larger group. Their feedback was mixed, letting us know some were sure
about their rights and others were not. We spent some more time discussing and
clarifying, and were satisfied that they finally understood well what their
rights were. That was a good lesson for them. They now know how avoid and
report any abuses they may be subject to.
It was a great evening and a scary time,
too. They put in a very full day so they could enjoy an evening dinner together of local food.
The food was delicious, with an awesome dessert. When it was time for evening
learning activities the sky became dark and it began to rain heavily so we
postponed our activities until the morning. We were a bit worried about
security for the night because it was the first time camping in the jungle for
our club and the students were rather young. We slept in open-air lean-tos and
they were a bit afraid. But everything was fine after Vysal prepared and found
some young men to guard our campsite by shifts till morning. Some students were
willing to help that but we only allowed older students to help. The kids were
ok and happy with that and before going to bed they talked to each other, sang
songs, and some they played fun things with lots of laughter. Some of them went
with Vysal to see the stars shining in the night’s sky. Vysal is a good advisor
and he gave them some good advice by encouraging them to see the stars and
compared their lives to the stars, which was meaningful to them. Later some went
to bed but others talked long into the night. The guards didn’t forget their
duty, and worked according to their shift schedule. It was a great experience
for all of them.
Traveling to home!
When
the night was
over it was time to go home. We had breakfast at 8:00 am before starting the
last activity of the trip. Then Vysal let them know about DOVE because some
students still didn’t know about DOVE’s history, mission and vision - they just
knew about YESIC. So Vysal introduced DOVE to them clearly. Now they know
clearly we are a Christian organization. Most of them are Buddhist with a few Christians
here and there. After sharing about Dove’s Christian identity, most of them
were ok, but a few they felt a bit strange but were fine as our relationships
are always gentle and positive. When we finished, we did a SWOT analysis by
asking some questions to the team leaders and helpers. We got some great
feedback from them. Then we had lunch around 11:30 am before leaving back to
Phnom Penh. The last thing that we did before leaving was to clean up the
garbage around the area for at least 15 minutes. This is our habit.
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